A Soap Love/Goodbye Letter

Dear One Life To Live,

Let me start by saying that I'm so sorry that it took me so long to say that I love you.  I guess I was a little embarrassed, you being a campy soap and all.  But the truth is, it is your ability to do embrace the genre with a self aware wink to the audience that has made me love you so.  I am a little heartbroken that you are ending and am going to miss you terribly.  But we've had a good ride, haven't we?

Truth be told, it wasn't love at first sight.  Not to sound slutty but I kind of just started seeing you because you were hanging around in the general vicinity of my other soaps.  I watched you all at the same time, on occasion flipping channels when your back was turned.  I was in high school then, and I guess one daytime drama just couldn't hold my interest for very long.  I barely remember those days.  I think you did a musical in prison.  That was fun.  But I had to experiment with other TV shows.  It just wasn't the time for us.

In college, we barely saw each other at all.  There was that brief fling when you had that AMC baby switching crossover (oh, how bold you were) and I was mildly entertained by the whole multiple personality thing, but my sleeping/school schedule then just wasn't conducive to the hours you wanted me to have to see you.  And so we lost touch.  I heard about you from time to time, on the Internet or from friends but to be honest I never thought we'd see each other again.

Then, when I started working something magical happened.  I had a TV in my office and you were on during my lunch hour.  So it began, casually as I suppose it often does.  I was having a thing with Days Of Our Lives at the time, but would catch you on occasion and soon once and a while turned into a few times a week.  I remember the moment it all changed.  It was Bo and Nora's wedding and you were spectacular.  You were over the top but you knew it and rocked that shit.  There was a bold confidence there that I was drawn to.  From that point on, you had my heart.  And for the past year I've looked forward to our lunchtime dates every single day.

I guess I knew that I was in love when Todd came back.  I always knew that you could rock the funny but never quite realized that you had some really layered characters that could make you kind of complex.  The anti-hero who had atypical reactions (the less likeable on paper, the more likeable in reality) stole my heart.   Couple that with your cliffhanger moments at the tag of each episode and that was it.  I was hooked.

This past week leading up to the finale has continued to enforce everything that I've loved about you.  The big jail break, bringing back old characters and shedding a light on the ones that we love, was brilliant.  And yesterday's penultimate episode was beautiful.  The ballsy soap within a soap thing has been entertaining thus far, but using Fraternity Row's finale to talk about all of the wonderful things that soaps accomplish and the true sorrow that the possible end of the genre brings was powerful.  And more importantly, it was true.  Soaps have connected generations (I started watching them in the womb) and have allowed people to grow up with characters.  The characters on them become your friends and family, the town your home.  I can't believe that we'll never see Llanview again.

I'm really going to miss this show.  I'm going to miss the ever wise Vicki and her feud with Dorian. I'll think fondly of Jess and Tess and all of her other personalities (except that strange high school one).  I'll long for the strength of the Cramer women, the sweetness of Bo and Nora (and the father-son nature of Bo and Rex) and the wackiness of Roxy.  I'll  smile when I remember the Ford brothers and their tendency to whip off their shirts at a moments notice.   And what will be life without the hysterical ramblings of lovable narcissist David Vickers or the cuteness of adorable namesake she-dog David Vickers?  Hell, I'll even miss Natalie and her crazy eyes.  And I'll really, really miss Todd.  (Until he shows up on General Hospital).

So Goodbye One Life.  Goodbye to your ballsy meta-rants, your musicals, your lovable shtick.  Goodbye to the DNA test result swaps, twins galore and teen parents.  Goodbye to the heart and soul you have brought to daytime television and the humor and smarts that you have done it with.  I'll miss you, but I'll always love you.  Because this is for keeps.

XOXO

Nikki

Killers And Druggies and Theives, Oh My!

Two warnings before you read this post.  A) It's really spoilery.  So if you are behind on American Horror Story or Breaking Bad or plan to ever watch old episodes of daytime television, Gossip Girl or The Vampire Diaries you may want to reconsider reading this one.  And B) I'm about to defend the criminal element.  So if you'd be offended by such a thing, well, now's the time click away from this page.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

Okay, now that that's done, I want to take you back.  Way back, about a whole week ago, to a conversation I was having with my lovely friend who runs The Angst Report.  She was nervous about this week's episode of American Horror Story, out of fear that it would confirm (as it did) that angsty teen ghost Tate would turn out to be a school shooter.  The problem is that she is kind of crazy in love with the character and partially feared that she would have to stop loving him while simultaneously knowing that she wouldn't.  And what would that say about her?  Would she need to join the ranks of those crazy broads who marry men in prison?  After the episode aired, I had another friend who tweeted the same concern, and was admittedly ashamed that she still loved the character.  There were message board posts about it, with one person angrily disowning him while others coyly rebutted with their still ever present Tate crushes.  It's like the whole world is hanging their head in shame.

Me?  I'm all like "WHO CARES?"

How on earth could I crucify Tate?  I watch Dexter, and that boy is a serial killer.  Half the cast of Lost was responsible for ending someones life at one point or another. Breaking Bad's Walter White is both keeping meth addicts good and hooked while also having the blood of at least six people directly on his hands.  I'm also totally crazy about BB's Jesse Pinkman, who went and killed a sweet, innocent vegan.  But you know, he felt reaallllyyyyy bad about it.

If I knew any of these people in real life, I would hate them.  I would demand that they be thrown in jail and forced to atone for their sins time and time again.  But this is why the real world sucks, and why I much more prefer to live in TV land.  In the wonderful world of make believe I actually have the chance to see these characters for who they are, not what they did.  I'm allowed to be interested in them, even love them, despite their actions.  In reality, we let ourselves be all about the black and white.  Fiction gets to play in the grey.

Over the past few years, some of my favorite characters have been murders, thieves, and drug dealers.  There are at least two shows on the air that have prostitutes as protagonists.  Countless drug addicts are the central focus of their shows.  And man, do we love us some con men.  In fact, its hard to come up with a crime that we can't manage to forgive a character for.  Yes, I know what you're going to say.  And you're wrong.  Because we kind of love ourselves some rapists too.

Daytime television currently has two leading males who are both known rapists.  General Hospital's Luke raped Laura when she was a teenager and he was a skeevy nightclub owner.  Since then, the two got married, had kids and were on the cover of Time magazine as the "OMG, best couple ever".  And he RAPED her.  But Luke is all flawed, coming from an abusive and alcoholic household, so we forgive him.  Or at least forget the action.  Similarly, the adorably quippy Todd on One Life To Live started out as Gang Rapist #3.  He doesn't apologize for who he is and remains a reluctant anti-hero, but he is so darn interesting that we love him.  Similarly, both Vampire Diaries Tyler and Gossip Girl's Chuck attempted to rape characters in the pilots of their shows (For Chuck, it was two girls!).  They have since become fan favorites who have arced and grown and thus we forget their transgressions because we want to love them.

You see, we just can't help but love our criminals.  In fact, the only transgression I can never see us forgiving is pedophilia.  Because in the world of the grey, where it is all about shades of morality, we CAN forgive taking someones life but we CAN'T forgive taking someones innocence.  In television, children represent all that is good.  In fact, giving a character a child to hang around makes them instantly more likable.  Both OLTL's Todd and Breaking Bad's Jesse are well known for their love of kids, and those feelings are always reciprocated by the adorable little munchkins.  If you ruin them, you can't be saved.  You're done.  Stick a fork in you.

But as far as I know, there are no pedophiles on my TV screen. (At least no fictional ones.  But that's another post)   The characters who grace it may do bad things, but they almost always do them for reasons that are at least intriguing to watch.  And I DO want to watch them.  And sometimes, I even like them.  And for that, I shall not feel ashamed.  This is why I love television.  And you know what?  It's why you do too.

The Angst Report, FuckYeahAaronPaul and Televisionista own these pictures, I do not.  I suspect they do not actually own them either, but they are all awesome for making them available so I don't have to screencap.  Thanks guys!